#34: Manifesting My Dream Home
Post 👏 Saturn 👏 Return 👏 Glow 👏 Up 👏
It’s been ONE HELL OF A YEAR AM I RIGHT.
I wrote a newsletter called Saturn’s Guide to Manifestation at the start of this year, then wrote about nonattachment back in April, and I had no idea at the time just how powerfully those themes were planning to take hold.
Letting go, originally by force, and lately by choice, has been the backbone of my 2023. Doors being closed to for me will be what I remember most about the past twelve months. I was asked to grow the fuck up. And grow the fuck up, I did.
So now, after the perfect amount of time and space, a new door is opening…
I’m moving into my 1928 bungalow dream home.
Despite the stress that’s coupled with a solo long distance move, more than anything, I feel so thankful.
Like millions of others, I’ve had a complicated relationship with “home” since I can remember. My parents separated when I was young and my childhood was spent shuffling back and forth between them throughout a hideously messy divorce.
I was accustomed to living out of a suitcase and being able to pack up quickly and easily. Cops in the driveway were a regular occurrence, as was eating alone in front of a television and an ever evolving variety of abuse.
My childhood trauma translated into a home life, or lack thereof, that was volatile throughout my twenties. I bounced around between partners’ places, friends’ places, and families places. I lived in Brooklyn for awhile. I traveled to other countries and contemplated permanent moves abroad.
I moved just like I had growing up, a mirror of my chaotic, unstable comfort zone.
I’ve been referred to on more than one occasion as “nomadic” and I’ve always smiled and told myself it meant I was cool and adventurous— not just desperately trying to find somewhere, anywhere, that felt safe enough to settle down.
Well.
I believe I’ve found the place to start. And it’s not because of the built-in bookshelves, the magical window seat, or even the original hardwood floors. While those finishes are divine and will be cherished, I trust that I’m getting the keys to this home because I’ve finally unlocked that door within myself.
I’ve always envisioned myself living in a place like this, yet when it all came together practically overnight, and coupled with all sorts of synchronicities…it didn’t feel real.
‘Matilda hung back. She was a bit frightened of this place now. It seemed so unreal and remote and fantastic and so totally away from this earth. It was like an illustration in Grimm or Hans Andersen. It was the house where the poor woodcutter lived with Hansel and Gretel and where Red Riding Hood’s grandmother lived and it was also the house off the Seven Dwarfs and the Three Bears and all the rest of them. It was straight out of a fairy-tale.’
Why is this reaction so familiar? Maybe because humans are jaded. There seems to be a fresh dumpster fire around every corner! But receiving what we deserve (for better or worse) is how karma works, and doing that work behind closed doors eventually opens new ones.
Ultimately, I believe our living spaces reflect our inner worlds, sort of like how dogs seem to look like their owners. It makes sense, then, that because I’ve painstakingly become more mature than ever this year, my new place reflects that growth externally.
Rather than “luck” or coincidence, I trust that this moment manifested because of preparation meeting opportunity.
What does this little tale mean for you? Maybe nothing. In that case, toodles! But if it feels like something, I would challenge you to ponder what you truly, deeply, and perhaps secretly desire over the coming days. And then do some soul searching: are your actions aligning with the person you so badly want to become?
Mars and the Sun are currently conjunct, coming together in Scorpio for the first time in a whopping 32 years— ahem, a few months after I was born. No coincidences, right?
This union, known as a Mars cazimi, signals a purification for the Scorpio area of your birth chart. This energy is ripe for clarifying your intentions to seed necessary rebirth.
But regarding our innermost wishes with vulnerability can be quite the daunting process. There’s usually, at minimum, layers of trauma, outside opinions, and collective conditioning burying what we really really want, so don’t expect the transformation to happen overnight. Just try to do the next right thing.
The world is reliably a shit show, but sometimes there’s astrology that reminds us of the power of silver linings…and the ability we have to create them for ourselves.
Rooting for you through time and (my own!!!) space,
Erin River Sunday
PS: We’re inching closer to 2024 by the day and it’s going to be a doozy. If you’re curious about what might be manifesting next for you, I’d love to give you a Year Ahead Reading (my favorite offering of the bunch)! Mercury retrograde begins December 13th…
Such a beautiful and power reflection! So excited for you to be home ❤️