#12: Spilling the Tea
Transmutation and the Scorpio Eclipse
Energy of the Moment: The Land Between
The “7 Energies” represented in this deck implicitly relate to the Chakra system of our bodies, and *body stuff* feels especially relevant right now. Our physical bodies are both blessedly uncomplicated and insanely intricate…which we can see expressed by the Taurus/Scorpio axis. In the most condensed sense, we consume energy (Taurus) then convert that energy into something we can use (Scorpio)- over and over and over again. But, of course, this process isn’t instantaneous.
You might find yourself not quite here, but not quite there, either, right now. It can be beyond frustrating to hangout in this in-between, like deciding to stop at a yellow light while someone else gassed it and breezed right through. But like a caterpillar in its chrysalis, remember you’re still getting where you’re going.
This is the place you will be reborn.
Today’s piping hot gossip: I switched from coffee to tea back in January.
I was meandering the aisles of World Market, much like people describe meandering the aisles of Target. It’s just one of those magical places* that you enter not really “looking” for anything in particular, but then it’s like you instantaneously blackout and all your money’s gone. Weird!
*And by “magical places” do I actually mean scarily successful consumeristic pits?? Alas. I digress…
A tin of tea found me on that particular trip, and I honestly laughed at myself for buying it. Tea always seemed like a cute idea (especially while watching The Great British Baking Show, iykyk) but also a personally impractical one.
Who has time for tea when your heart and soul has always dripped in coffee?
I was what I would call *mildly* concerned about my coffee consumption back in January. Like…I knew it had some power over me, but I wasn’t ready to deal with it yet because it seemed like it had some insidious power over basically everyone else, too.
After all, I wasn’t one of those humans proclaiming a coffee addiction on one of those tacky *dOn’T tAlK tO mE tiLl I’Ve hAd cOffEe* t-shirts or mugs (sorry).
I quietly considered myself to be a “cool girl” on the coffee addiction spectrum, of which I decided was worth my energy to illustrate:
What this graphic fails to reveal is that for the better part of a decade, as soon as my baby little eyes opened to the daylight, I transported myself always and unquestioningly, right to the coffee grinder.
No roommate or text message or even need to pee had DARE intervene with my morning ritual, lest they desire my wrath (which in this case would be the ferocity of a bleary-eyed blank stare, but still).
And when I went out for coffee? It was almost always to locally owned, beautifully ~share worthy~ places with smiling people buzzing about. And the DOGS.
Can you really have “a problem” if you’re supporting locals and petting puppies while you do it? The answer seems to be a complicated yes!
I was diagnosed with panic disorder several years ago because I was having debilitating panic attacks several times a week. Half my face would suddenly go numb while I was folding laundry or some other menial task (as horrifying as it sounds) and completely wipe me out the rest of the day.
Other times attacks would strike while I was at work and I would hide in the bathroom and lay on the floor to cool down till they passed- something I’ve never actually shared till now? Yet another happened while I was driving my car. Not cute. Very, very, not cute.
Even so, my panic attacks were LOUD AND CLEAR signs that my body was in distress and I needed help (the fact that I thought I was dying from some rare and previously undiscovered disease before being diagnosed only added to the drama). But sometimes, oftentimes…life is much more subtle.
My little tea time moment at World Market was not dramatic in any way. Instead, a quiet whisper suggested that I buy that tea tin, and rather than swat the voice away like a fly because I didn’t understand, I JUST BOUGHT THE DAMN TEA. This, dear angels, is intuition at work.
The next day I woke up and thought, strange! I think I want tea today! And four months later now, it’s still what I’m drinking every morning instead of coffee. I’m honestly still surprised…but I love my transformed ritual. I bought a copper tea kettle and its whistle makes me smile. So does adding copious amounts of oat milk.
But let’s be clear: I didn’t force myself to convert instantaneously; it was a process.
As previously and adorably illustrated, I knew I was on the spectrum of coffee addiction. I had actually half-heartedly tried to quit coffee other times, and “hack” it when I didn’t think I could completely stop (mushroom coffee, anyone?).
I’m realizing now that all those years of having a general awareness of the issue but seemingly “failing” to change was like sitting at a yellow light. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything constructive…but I was getting ready to shift gears. When the light magically turned green, I had already done the work of letting go.
I’m seeing Frozen IRL with my nephew in September and I’m SQUEALING with anticipation
Much like my decision to get sober, quitting coffee happened with divine timing. It never felt like a conscious choice, but a loving directive. The road ahead seemed to say that if I was willing to let go…I would be able to transform my life. RESULT!
I still have coffee on rare occasions, but it’s not the same. It tastes so acidic and I just know my heart will be palpitating before long and I’ll feel a little CrAzY (and not a good crazy). Plus I know something has physically changed…because my once constant headaches have disappeared and my energy is more even throughout the day.
Blessed be, it seems I’m no longer a helpless victim to a literal BEAN.
I’m not suggesting we start treating coffee drinkers like demons, lol. But the Universe is asking us to acknowledge that there’s a spectrum for our favorite consumptions (ahem, which can also be people) and recognizing where we fall on it might be the key to ensuring that what we consume doesn’t instead start consuming us.
The Scorpio Full Moon Eclipse will be exact in a matter of hours, and I hope it will be a moment that illuminates your own deep, dark, bold (you can describe coffee the same way you describe a Scorpio??) obsessions.
Whatever you’re excavating now, trust that you were born to transmute it.
Through time and space,
Erin River Sunday